


Should be the one

by tachiisweet



Series: --the one [MAKOHARU] [3]
Category: Free!
Genre: LOWKEY ANGST BUT NOT RLLY BC IM A SHITTY WRITER, M/M, haroo is a smart fish, if you squint REAAALLY HARD you might see sourin, im not sorry tbh, makoto u dumb shit, my children pls save them, slightly implied rinharu on makobae's side, taKE THIS AWAY FROM ME I AM TRASH
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 11:24:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9179434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tachiisweet/pseuds/tachiisweet
Summary: Yet, if seeing Haru smile like that means his heart to be broken, then Makoto is willing to love him forever, to break his heart as many times Haru wants, as long as that smile never fades.





	

                                                   ‘ _And then I found it…  
I want to swim,   
_in that world.’

 

* * *

Proud is probably the most inadequate way to describe how Makoto feels. Delighted, overjoyed even, to hear the words coming from his best friend all the same purposely ignoring the familiar gut-wrenching ache that claws at his chest.

Watching the swimmer dive, to fly and soar beyond the wild waves; it’s truly a sight that captures his heart yet again. Ah- how pathetic he is, longing, yearning, clinging on the invisible strings of hope he continues to disillusion himself to believe. Then the relay, the last swim the four will have together. His chest warms of the bittersweet parting that arrives all too soon upon the team.

But all the same, the crinkles at the corner of his eyes appear as he laughs, beams under the streaming light as the four embrace each other after the relay. And he takes every longing second to hold Haru, even if just the slightest brush of fingertips across the bare shoulders that glisten with droplets. Then the fire comes and he was swept away without a single thought. He catches the eye of the teal gaze that lingered and they shared a nod of polite acknowledgement. But as time drew on a little too long for his own liking, he stepped forward, calling out for the swimmer who turns his head to look over and nod at the silent cue that they should leave. The boy waves goodbye to Rin and Sousuke, who in return bids him goodbye. His heart clenches as the blue eyed boy walks back to his side as they enter the changing rooms. What a selfish man he is.

As they all gather together, walking separately, making plans for tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that, the two are finally alone. Even footsteps walk side by side, his mere presence a comfort to the frail heart. He takes a momentary glance over, inspecting the friend with an uncanny observation of the boy who has returned from the lands beyond their world. It was slight, yet all the same a huge difference. The way his eyes seem to lighten, his dark hair tousled by the sea breeze they accompany on their way home. His shoulders are relaxed, pale lips turned into a rare moment of content. Haru was happy, and Makoto hated it.

He looked away, fingers gripping at his bag strap, brown hair covering his eyes, inhaling quietly, willing the beating heart to stop. All unknowing to the blue eyes that looks back at him in return, questioning, wondering of his tall friend’s thoughts.

A sense of intensity rises and Makoto finds a smile on his face, bidding Haru goodbye before taking two steps at a time, ignoring the small cry of his name from the other. He knows something is wrong, too smart of a friend he is. Makoto doesn’t want to face it. He won’t allow it. A distant sound of fireworks boom in his head, tear-filled eyes glaring at him with betrayal and fear. He wanted to kiss him. But instead he allowed the other to run, to flee.

He was called just before dinner and Makoto instinctively reached out in return, finding himself in the same room both he and Haru grew up together. A delicious, warm green curry plated in front of him and for the few hours at Haru’s house, his pain was chased away. Instead, he chatted to silence, laughed at Haru’s curt yet responsive replies and allowed himself to fall into the false comfort of friendship. Makoto never saw how Haru chewed his lip as Makoto licked his own, or how his eyes strayed to the man’s lips as Makoto talked animatedly.

But then the magic broke as Makoto willed himself to stay strong, asked Haru of his trip. His eyes seemed to brighten and everything that Haru did had a breath of life. It tore him apart, chewed at his chest and shook him to the core, trembling his strength. In all honesty, Makoto doesn’t think he has heard so much from Haru in one go. Yet, all the same, he saw Haru smile, fleeting but perfect. He heard the tone of love seep in his voice at the mention of Rin and the way the pale fingers clenched together at the description of the Australian beach. What a world that must’ve been. The world that Makoto can never reach. Always an inch away, slipping from his mere fingertips. Yet, if seeing Haru smile like that means his heart to be broken, then Makoto is willing to love him forever, to break his heart as many times Haru wants, as long as that smile never fades.

He returns home that night, wearing the false smile and turning his back away, treading back home. Makoto never realised that Haru didn’t bring up the strange behaviour that he noticed from his tall friend, which he usually does.

_Thanks, Rin._ He texted to the maroon head that night, laying in his bed as his phone pings in reply. But he takes no notice, instead, drawing his curtains so his neighbour wouldn’t see the tears that begin to flow. “No more, no more.” He whispers, clumsy hands desperately trying to wipe them away in the darkness of his bedroom. “Please, no more.” The faded image of his smiling face mere minutes ago both a curse and blessing. Monsters claw at his heart, bleeding blue and crushing under the weight of his guilt.

“I know. _I know_.” It comes back to him, slinking across his bedroom floor in the night, curling around him like a suffocating blanket. He promised himself to give up, to let go. _To let Haru be free. Without me._ After all, waters and earth can only last so long. He needs the fire, the flame that sparks the passion, the fearless determination and drives to the dream Haru has found for himself.

He doesn’t want to do this.Yet, he _must_ do this. There is no other option. After all, what can he, the gravity that drags everything down, do for the water that thrives freedom? He can do nothing, he is nothing. In comparison to the passion, the hurricane of emotions, he is all that he can provide; boringness. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He hiccups into his hands, ignorant of the single set of footsteps that flutter outside his door, ready to knock yet hesitating, waiting. “I’ll let you go. I will, I promise.” A choked sob, trembling fingers clutching at his shirt, trying to tear his emotions away. He tries to stay quiet, but all the same, it's louder than any tsunami that may ever happen. Loud enough for the shadow to hear from the door outside. “But I love-“ He hiccups, “I love- I love…”

 

_I love you, Haruka._

 

The footsteps leave as Makoto dries up his tears, unaware of the fuming ocean's rage that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the third instalment for --the one series ^_^ I'm considering either one or two more parts to this before signing it off as complete! I apologise for any rushed mess or confusion. Please don't hesitate to POLITELY criticise my work :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy.


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